One of the most common words I hear when first meeting a client is that they feel “stuck”. They feel stuck in their career. They feel stuck on what decision to make. They feel stuck on what steps to take to make their work life better.

Feeling this way is extremely frustrating, depressing, anxiety-inducing, and at times debilitating.

Stuck /stʌk/:

unable to progress with a task or find the answer or solution to something
remain in a static condition; fail to progress
feels Frustrating, Stressful, Depressing, Debilitating

There’s a belief rooting into your mind that you don’t have control over your situation.

As an intelligent, logical problem-solver you know there’s got to be a way out, yet you have no idea where to begin.

You are either drawing a complete blank or so overwhelmed by possible options your thoughts are spinning.

How did you get here?

How did you become someone that isn’t able to solve the problem?

How are you the person that doesn’t have a career where you are appreciated, paid your worth, getting promoted and feeling you are making an impact when you work ALL THE TIME?

Work Harder & It Will ALL Work Out

Feeling stuck in indecision and in an unfulfilling career isn’t something that just happened overnight or even in the last year.

This has been a long-time coming based on a series of decisions, beliefs and thoughts rooted from multiple sources.

How many of us since childhood heard that if you work hard good things will come to you?

If you wanted

respect,
accolades for achievement,
intelligence,
top-rank,
higher salary,
impressive job title,

or any other perceived mark of success you needed to WORK HARDER. Most of us also associated ‘work harder’ to mean ‘work MORE’.

I definitely heard the words ‘work hard and it will pay off’ in my childhood.

Though there was a caveat where my dad tried to lovingly warn me. He advised me to never have a salaried position…because then “they own you.”

As a young adult heading off to college, I stored away that advice, but as graduation neared I wanted to feel like I achieved success by getting the highest-paid job I could get. All options were presented as a salaried position.

I stepped into that culture full steam ahead and soon I felt like my time was no longer my own. ”They owned me” subconsciously played in my mind and when I wanted a different role, better title, or more pay I used my time to equal my worth.

I believed the harder I worked, the more time I spent doing work, the more I thought about work, and the more I talked about work…this must mean I will someday be recognized for my incredible time sacrifices, my dedication, and thus, leadership will appreciate me so much the promotions will just come rolling in.

The reality is, that didn’t happen.

Every new role or promotion I went for required me to go after it fervently and competitively.

I was never tapped on the shoulder for a promotion.

I never received a new role or promotion with no interview or even just one interview.

I had to sell my worth, my value, and my skillsets every single time. That is the reality in business.

Working extra hours, time away from my friends and family, and my degrading mental and physical health were NEVER something mentioned.

Why? Because those are not coveted leadership skills.

No interviewer will want to hear about your sacrifices and how you always put work above your own joy in living life outside of work.

The behavior of choosing to work long hours and not living a balanced life demonstrates lack of time management, poor decision-making abilities, and a lack of ownership of your priorities.

And the biggest problem that stems from all those decisions to work harder & more is that you chipped away at your self-trust.

You no longer trust yourself to make decisions for your highest good.

If you can no longer trust yourself to make the right decision, how do you pick what step to take? What choices are the ‘right’ choices when it comes to your career?

And just like that…you’re “Stuck”.

3 Ways to Get Career Decisions Unstuck

Rebuild Self-Trust

Rebuilding trust is a simple process but if you’re like me and spent years in indecision then it won’t necessarily be easy to hold yourself accountable.

If your work environment stays the same you may feel like your ability to change your work-life strategy won’t be accepted or you may worry you’ll be negatively judged for making yourself a priority.

Starting with small, but consistent habit changes will help you stay accountable to yourself.

Make the decision to take a lunch break every day.

Example: Small step - Start taking an actual lunch break every day where you STOP working and leave your work area. NO calls, emails or work communication for a set amount of time.

Big step - Make a decision to stop working at the standard end of day time (ex: 5pm) and leave everyday this week at that time…and do not work or check emails after hours.

2. Become a Powerful Decision Maker

Making a decision is simple. It can be as simple as saying “yes” or “no”, right? Though simple, when you’re spinning in indecision it can be a challenge to find the simple in the chaos.

Start practicing making decisions for yourself for things that you really want but aren’t life-shattering.

Remind yourself that you can make a decision today and make a different one tomorrow. Trust that if the decision you make didn’t bring the outcome you planned, you can now make a better, more experienced decision to redirect.

You are human…mistakes are learning lessons for success.

Example: Small step - Next time someone asks you where you want to eat, pick a place. Don’t say “Whatever you want is fine.” Even if you’d be happy with what they choose, making this decision for what YOU want is practicing putting your desires as a priority.

Decide to say no to meetings where you aren’t a critical key player.

Big step - Decide to decline a meeting where you aren’t a critical key player. If you aren’t absolutely needed at the meeting for a decision or for integral information then you don’t need to use your valuable, limited-time just to be on the sidelines.

3. Stop asking for Friend & Family Advice

This one may surprise you, as having loving support can really help when you’re feeling at your lowest.

And if you are like I was, you’re probably very guilty of spending most of your limited time outside of work venting to those loving people about work.

Your friends & family love you and want the best for you, but their thoughts and opinions on what is best are extremely biased to keep you safe.

They also don’t know your dreams or definitions of success. Don’t add to your limiting beliefs by taking on theirs too.

Decide to find a professional mentor to support your journey.

Getting help to work through career indecision is valuable and can help you move faster through all the obstacles but ensure the source is someone that will support you without judgement and with understanding of how to help you meet your goals.

Example: Small step - make a list of all the things that aren’t supporting your success and determine at least one actionable solution for turning each of around. Then, take action one at at time.

Big step - Find a resource for supporting you through this journey. Find a mentor, sponsor or hire a career coach.

It Can Get Better

You didn’t get stuck overnight, and by acknowledging that you’re not feeling certain about your next step or trusting what decision to make, you don’t have to continue down this path.

It doesn’t have to take a long-time to make a decision for positive change to make your work life better.

It does require acknowledgement of the issue.

It does require you to value your time, health and humanness.

It will require determination to take the steps to make it better…no matter what.

Because, life does happen and not every day will be rainbows & sunshine.

Obstacles will occur.

You may fall back into an old habit.

Just decide to keep going.

All the behaviors that got you to feel stuck can be used to turn things around.

Use your deeply devoted dedication for excellence, incredible tenacity for surviving difficult situations, and powerful problem-solving skills to:

build self-trust,
make the decisions that are best for you right now,
and don’t be afraid to ask for professional guidance to get you to the next step.

Because once you take the first step, you’re going to want to be ready for the next one.

I’m Lisa Pirinelli, a Career + Life Coach for high-achieving women determined to unapologetically live their best life.

Being driven to succeed professionally is an asset only when it aligns with your personal goals and successfully impacts your life.

Being the best only matters when you’re the best version of YOU.

Your goals. Your vision. Your life. Defined by you.

Coaching highly-driven women to successfully simplify their lives by clearing their minds of self-doubt, overwhelm, guilt, and fear allowing them to overcome obstacles so they achieve the goals that truly align with their vision for their life.

Be you. Authentically and Confidently.