How I Survived the Corporate Layoff Journey.
Just a few minutes in LinkedIn will tell you it’s that time of year when companies are doing lay-offs. Though I know there are many financial and strategic business reasons companies reorganize and reduce their employee costs, knowing this doesn’t make it any easier when you’re the one impacted.
Hearing “It’s not personal, it’s just business” just feels like a slap in the face.
So many feelings and thoughts rush in when the talk of a reorg occurs and all the fear, lack of control, concern, anger, bitterness, or relief take over your body…your world.
I’m no stranger to company reorganizations and the sequential layoff. I was lucky enough to experience this very early on in my career.
You might ask why I found this to be lucky. Well, here’s why.
Going through the lay-off process, whether you are the one letting someone go or the one being let go is at best a shock and at worst traumatizing.
Learning how the process works and all the stages of emotions plus the corporate politics that accompany it early on educated and toughened me (at times) to the 8+ reorganizations during my corporate career.
You dedicate most waking hours in the day at your job, spend priceless time away from doing the things you would love to do or be with the ones you would love to be with and yet you have little control over whether or not you get to keep doing that job.
Sounds like an unhealthy, imbalanced relationship, yet we stay as it is the culture we live in. You get a job, work to move up in your career, make more money, earn better benefits so that you can hopefully retire early enough to enjoy your hard-earned rest.
Then one day when you’re told you might be laid-off, your thoughts change from being frustrated from all that hard work, a strategic career path, networking your butt off, long-hours, bad bosses and difficult co-workers to fear of losing paid benefits, consistent salary and your sense of identity that you associated with your career.
It’s easy to forget all the things you didn’t like when you’re in fear of losing your identity, financial stability and quality of life.
Do corporations know this and see layoffs as an employee morale and mindset reset? Sadly, nothing gets frustrated, burned out employees back in love with their company faster than the threat of being let go.
I definitely witnessed this when I was in my mid-20’s while in my first year and a half working at a large company. It was during this time that I experienced my first lay-off. The company I worked for made a major acquisition.
I naively remember thinking my employer bought out this other company so those employees would be let go, not ours. I obviously had a lot to learn.
I remember before lay-offs were announced many people in the office would go off in whispers and lunches started to be away from cubicles where private conversations couldn’t be overheard.
As a newbie, I wasn’t privy to many of those discussions so I just observed the demeanor of once upbeat co-workers and managers change to secretive, reserved and cautious. The office environment changed and the fear was palpable. Most of my office had been with the company many years so they were much wiser to what was about to occur.
Then, one day it was announced that our team would be downsized and the waiting game to see who would stay and who would go began. I remember seeing my co-workers, most who had families and long, loyal years within the company, emotionally deflate and become a shell of their former selves. Once confident, joyful personalities became fearful, bitter, and needy.
Not that I didn’t have my own concerns, but I knew I was young and could find work making a comparable salary. I wasn’t making much money and had two jobs prior to starting this job and had even been a temp employee to get my foot in the door. I was scrappy. I knew I’d be ok, but I did have a wedding to pay for and a dying relative so I didn’t want to relocate.
I remember my manager was out of town, so her peer had to deliver the hard conversations to each of her team and ours. That seemed so unfair, especially since she was one of the nicest managers in the office. You could tell it was killing her each time she called someone into the dreaded conference room of doom.
I had made a decision as I had watched the office morale decline that I was not going to let this get me down. Looking back, I’m actually surprised I was able to maintain a calm and positive outlook since I tended to be very emotionally impacted by my environment. This was way before I studied self-help techniques, meditated or did anything but just be young, naive and determined. Maybe it was the ignorance of the situation that was actually the blessing.
So, when that sweet manager called me into the room, I told her it was ok. I knew what she was going to tell me and I figured it was coming seeing that I was the newest member on the team. She seemed so relieved. It’s in my nature to comfort people, so it was on par that’s the way it all went down.
Nonetheless, I still had to manage my thoughts of:
What now?
How do I get a new job in the company when I’m competing with all of my more experienced co-workers?
Do I try to stay or do I start something new?
I did actually get offered the same position in another state but made the decision to decline since I didn’t want to move away from my ill family member. On a more strategic note, the job was a lateral move, with virtually no bump in salary in an industrial area that was even gloomier in the winter than my current state. It didn’t seem worth it and I’m proud I followed my gut.
I ended up getting a position with what was at the time my dream company. It was a step-down in salary and title but I was checking off a big career bucket list item. I made some incredible friends that I still have to this day, but I learned the hard lesson that not every company’s shiny outside matches its internal structure.
After my first review where my supervisor said I’d never move up (Never? Really?), I immediately contacted my previous manager and asked to get back on the team as soon as something opened up.
I was back after only being gone 8 months.
Here’s a silver-lining when getting laid-off if you want to return someday to the company…if you leave on good terms and managed to have a positive attitude on your way out, you not only might go back but you can get a bigger salary increase than if you were moving up inside the company.
The lateral job I had been offered during my lay-off was <3% salary increase with only a partially-paid move required. Leaving the company, not relocating, and coming back once the dust of the reorg settled, I was able to come back with a better title and an almost 30% salary increase.
Is that always the case? Possibly not, but it did teach me the value of staying positive and professional through even the worst times at work because like it or not, you are always being judged by your actions.
When things get real at work, those that show true leadership are going to be noticed. It doesn’t always mean you will be “saved” but you will at least walk away with your head held high knowing you took the high road.
Sometimes, when things feel out of your control maintaining your reputation and dignity is all you can control.
I wish I could say that over the next 15 years with that company I was able to always stay strong, confident and sure of my worth.
8+ reorganizations, countless leader changes, yearly restructures and disappointing salary increases caused internal stress and anxiety to take it’s toll.
I started to look at the holidays with a bit of dread knowing another lay-off scare would potentially be coming.
Another boss to sell my value to, another redesign of the job I was already doing while adding more responsibilities to make up for the smaller team to accomplish the larger workload.
And yet, this almost annual process brought a sense of relief that I was one of the lucky chosen to stay while I watched many of my friends and mentors be sent off as if their sacrifice of family time, career-development and incredible skillsets were expendable.
This is normal in business, but it is NOT normal for human beings to experience this loss without it taking its toll on their mental health.
I was “down-sized” 3 times in my 15 years with that company.
The first I took in stride, the 2nd I struggled as I was burned out and wanted to leave but also fearful to start over. I was much further in my career and had felt the heavy effects of the constant restructuring and difficulty to move up when I was competing with laid-off executives and job eliminations.
Yet, I was afraid to leave.
I would tell myself:
What if the grass isn’t greener on the other side?
What if my skillsets and experience don’t translate to a new company?
How do I confidently sell my value to another company when my current company didn’t value me enough to keep me?
Once, on a Friday I had quietly been told I was a selected candidate for a job in the department I had longed to join. I could tell my family, but not anyone in the company as the other candidates hadn’t been notified.
By the following week, that entire department was downsized, the position I had just interviewed multiple times for and was selected for was eliminated…outsourced.
If the official paperwork had gone through just days earlier I would have been hired and fired before even starting my first day on the job.
I was devastated to lose out on the opportunity I had wanted so deeply yet again felt the sense of relief I hadn’t left my current position yet. It was a constant emotional roller-coaster with little sense of control or transparency.
Here’s the reality I needed to realize though…I was valued by that hiring manager.
I was valued enough that I got the promotion.
I needed to remember that it wasn’t personal, it was business. The structure isn’t set up to protect you even when you are valued.
You can be the best employee in the company but if your leadership is being downsized they do not always have the capacity to save themselves and you.
I have seen many incredible leaders try to protect their team all while also navigating their own job being eliminated. It’s noble and in some cases it may work but it’s definitely not a certainty.
Does that excuse big business for the process? Absolutely not.
That is why when after my 2nd layoff, where I once again stayed by finding another position within the company, I decided the 3rd layoff would be on my terms.
I would either take the payoff and go or leave on my own.
I wasn’t bitter, I wasn’t upset, but my life experiences had evolved. My core values had changed and I knew my well-being, time with my family and friends could not continue being the sacrifice for my career.
After so many challenging team restructures, lack of upward mobility, disappointing salary increases and no longer finding value (let alone passion, purpose or strengths) in my actual job responsibilities I knew I was meant for something different. I had more to give in this life and being in a constant state of career change that was out of my control was not working.
So, I started working on my exit strategy. I got very clear on what I really wanted to do as a career and how I wanted my life to function.
I defined my core values, my mission and got crystal clear on my ‘why’ knowing that when things got complicated I’d need the reminder so I didn’t go back to the work relationship I knew, even though it was not serving me, but because even in its disfunction it’s what I knew.
I no longer wanted to be comfortable with being unhappy, dissatisfied, and burned out.
Then it happened.
Another restructuring from more acquisitions. This was it, they were asking for voluntary resignations that would still provide severance packages.
I thought this was my sign!
I self-talked myself in and out of it so many times and I bravely filled the online form out and then not-so-confidently hit the “send” button at 11:59pm on the final day. I had made the hard decision to leave, but I did it on my terms and I even had a sense of financial security from the severance offered.
Sigh of relief, right?
Nope. My voluntary resignation got denied.
I was told they couldn’t let me go.
Though there were hundreds of employees at my same level wanting and needing my job, they couldn’t move any of them onto my team due to structural, HR restrictions.
The system wouldn’t allow it.
So now, I’ve just let my leadership know officially…ON PAPER…that I want out and now I have to go back to work every day and somehow manage my reputation, my review status, and daily interactions.
Oh, but of course I was informed I could quit. That, the system would allow.
Were things uncomfortable? Yes.
Did I manage to continue working at a high-level? Yes.
Did I still want out? Most definitely, but I also knew it was only a matter of time before another opportunity would arise. I decided I would wait it out and as planned, that’s what ended up being my final exit.
In hind-sight, I know I should have left anyway after my voluntary resignation was denied. I wanted out so I should have left.
My career was not serving me and I could’ve found another job with another company. I had a great resume, wonderful network contacts, and a strong drive to succeed.
Unfortunately, my financial fears and insecurities of knowing anything different kept me in the unhealthy cycle.
My health took a major downward spiral…physically I was ill and getting worse without really finding answers as to why or how to get better. My mental health followed all while creating a vicious cycle of unhealthiness.
I knew the stress of work was the main culprit but it made me feel more insecure to admit it. The more I tried to hide from my issues, the more my mind and body paid for it.
I worked with some wonderful health professionals to get well. I worked with a life and business coach where I finally got my mindset, confidence, and my focus on what matters most in the forefront.
I got clear on my next steps, my value and what I really want to do with my career once it was in my control.
Have their been times it has been hard and uncomfortable? Absolutely.
But as I write these words in hopes that my story can help someone else, I know I made the right choice for me.
I don’t miss any of my previous employment but I am grateful for all of the experience, life lessons and wonderful people I met along the journey.
For me, the journey just needed to make a transition in a different direction. One that now works for me, my family, my health and my values.
For anyone going through a lay-off or has been impacted by a negative work environment please hear me when I say with all sincerity…
Know that you have value.
You matter.
You can make hard decisions.
You can stay positive even in adversity.
You have so much to give the world.
Be authentically and bravely you and trust yourself that you will be ok.
Everyone’s situation is different and having someone there to encourage and guide you every step of the way helps you get clear on what you want, stay accountable and focus on your goals.
Be you. Authentically and Confidently.
